Last Night

Ugh.

Successfully negotiating the sleeping bodies in my living room after a boozey evening is a skill I have mastered. In my grotty student house I counted ten bodies. It's not exactly Shaun of the Dead but i'm sure you get the picture. The heating was on, the curtains were shut and the house smelt of everything one would expect student houses to smell of. I'm glad i'm moving out soon.

The people are great but the house itself it a bitch to clean. I'm looking forward to my little one bedroom flat with M. Somewhere clean with good water pressure. Our dilema is this: Do we go for somewhere in Leamington where the average rent is £475 or down the road in Kenilworth where the rent is £375? Leamington is a much nicer place with more to do and all my friends live here. We currently pay £250 (I pay exclusive of bills) each at the moment so i'm thinking that £475 is do-able but council tax is likely to be a bitch (another £100 a month) and then with other bills heaped on top of that...damn damn damn.

went 2 science center 2day 4 LOTR exhibition. so nice! had so much fun tryin all de goon do stuff... n playing "acting" n "talking" oso. so nice! shld go see it b4 it's gone! aloy bought lots of stuff again... like so rich! xian mu! i oso 1 de evenstar n de hobbits book. gonna make sure i get those hehehe!!!

got few more albums 2 do up den i'll go slp. shit man! it's like no tym 2 watch tv! my tv! better go watch later hehehe... n den must slp early wait late den vanan scold me again! haiz... must work morning... n den more full shifts! quite tired alr... lucky tml can quickly go hm n see A.I.!

nth 2 blog... dun y i came on de blog... must b 2 change my stuff... lazy leh! btw now i'm in2 jazz music... wanna get tt jamie cullum cd... hahaha quite nice loh... mummy talkin abt van helsing... she knoes i like de show a lot! whahaha...

really nth much 2 blog liao lah... just wanna thank those who leave me msgs... i miss u guys! u knoe 2dae got so much sms in de morn... 1 4rm tock soon abt where 2 go 4 beng's bday... sorrie man... i'm not free... v scared i'll b so busy den cant go chalet... i'll only b goin on de 27th... n eileen's chalet only 29th... but mayb 29th dun wanna go! arugh... wad if i fail? esp mca? super scared...

jay called... askin 4 lunch... but i was alr on de way 2 de science center! sorries~

kays... gtg...

currently changed my stuff! yuppies! now tryin 2 blog ba... =)

adding more fotos up... trying 2 b happy! arugh... i'm super tired 2 de max...

havent watched tv! damn! dun wanna slp now... but 2 tired loh... =(

workin wif joline is fun lah... gets my mind off stuff... i did...

saw win a date with tad hamilton 2dae. mummy choosed it. glad u liked it mummy! i was re-reading tt super sad entry of mine lah... duno 4 wad... felt like it... i guess it was so hard sayin wad i feel... but i'm tryin... i tink concernin how honest i've been recently wif myself is rather gd... i admitted sum things 2 my mummy... like i smoked b4... n i almost got involved wif sum 1 i shldnt... she just was there 4 me u knoe? i guess tt is all i can ask 4 now... n i really just wanna channel all de energy i have now 2 b wif her... cus she's special 2 me... n since every 1 has their own lives n i dun have tt netural gf... so i'll settle 4 my mummy lah... it's not tt bad... it's gd ok...

of cus i'm sum wad tinking of tt girl lah... like... does she knoe? or... i duno... just really hope she's feelin happy now... i knoe she is... wad can i ask 4? nth lah...

i have 2 slp soon lah... orh! i found tis "motivation" lah... quite happy i finally found de 1 who can motivate me... not him... not sum 1 else... just "motivation"... not easy 2 guess... but de person's either 4rm sch, work or church... hehehe...

andrea's pretty btw!!! cant stand it!!!

Guys drink to forget about the girl...
Girls drink to think back about the guy...

When guys are in love, they become poor...
When girls are in love, they become pretty...

Guys can forget, but cannot forgive...
Girls can forgive, but cannot forget...

Guys care the most about the quantity of love..
Girls care the most about the quality of love...

Guys break-up when they feel love from another girl...
Girls break-up when they feel the feeling of separation from her man...

Guys feel curiosity towards all girls...
Girls feel curiosity towards guys who are interested in her...

When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl...
When girls are heartbroken, they try to find his characteristics from another guy...

Guys wish to be her first love...
Girls wish to be his last love...

joanna just sent tis 2 me... quite meaningful... whahaha...

i'm glad i'm not in love... lolx... erm really wanna change de stuff @ de side of de blog... see when i'm free... busy!!! lolx...

been seeing lots of old fwens de last few wks... whahaha... 4got who liao... nvm... i need 2 slp! tml workin den see movie...

not tt tired though... slept just now... made me tink abt wad jay said last nite oso...

he encouraged 2 b more girl like... it's true... i'm not... cus i dun have de heart 2 spend money on those...

n he said i need 2 have a gd gf... those i can talk abt...

n i do have... but i guess de feeling's not netural... de person is always sayin she cares a lot 4 me... i knoe she does lah...

but recently she hasnt cared tt much... n i knoe it's not cus she's busy... but cus i m lah... but even so when i'm free... i dun talk 2 her...

mayb cus... i dun 1 her 2 tink i'm using her...

she's v happy wif her lyf now... i wish her all de best... dun wanna disrupt her peaceful lyf...

where ever u r... if u knoe i'm talkin abt u... just wanna say i care...

hApPy bElAtEd biRtHdAy viK!!!

i m tired lazy n dun wanna do anything. but i sacrificed my tips on thurs nite 4 vik's cake! vik u really cannot take my pay n buy ur curtains! gosh!

10s 2 yi ling i actually did tt lah. felt gd. but i've not bought stuff 4 myself 4 a v long tym so NO presents tt i'm gonna share. u knoe wad, tt means no presents 4 me tis yr. but it's ok. i'll live.

so we'll flash back 2 de events i missed. nth happened much on mon n tues i alr blogged abt de show. gd show! i'm waitin 4 troy now, but cinemas quite crowded. so most prob tis mon i'll watch win a date with tad hamilton. even got de plan! finish work 4, go buy de tix den ask mummy come dwn. whahahaha.

so den wed i had an ok day oso lah. waited quite long 2 see sum 1. hahaha din though. went hm n rested den followed mummy 2 church. aloy let me stay in his office watch de muppets magic show. super funny! de manna manna man! it's damn nice, stayed like de whole tym there. den he finished de meeting wif ppc n we went 2 have super. met colin n darren! whahaha... i was like super happy lah. cus mummy n i were gossiping abt darren den we actually saw him. so handsome! i told them my aim is 2 b in de ppc, de most high respect organisation of de church. cus darren's in it! whahaha. but of cus i'm not so stupid tell them 4 darren lah.

so yeah can go on n on abt darren, dun bother asking, he's been a huge... erm duno how 2 express it, sum thing lah since i was sec 3. obession mayb? he's pretty smart, used 2 b in ri, rj, den now in nus final yr medicine. arugh! 2 smart alr. whahahaha. so colin invited me 2 plan tis yr's feast day dinner. big proj. but i'll b startin stupid sch on 20th dec so might not even go! arugh... i dun wanna miss out on darren! whahaha...

havent replied joanna's mail. shit man. i left like tis super shrt note. she will b v sad. sorrie babe! so anyway thurs n fri were 2 v busy n tiring days. i slogged myself 2 earn $132! which isnt enough 2 wash my butt! just kidding! i did feel like buying vik a cake was 2 lil, but not much cld b done. it was so hard 2 get it done. hahaha. glad vik liked it! morn we had brkfast wif aj. woke up @ 5am 4 tt. whahaha. went back 2 slp den woke up 4 work. tirin! but brkfast was gd =)

fri was joanne's last day. we all wld miss her. esp her narayan. he's so in love wif her. actually he's in love wif every 1 except his wife. i even dare 2 tell him tt. n i dun care. nvm. so yi ling n i saw de 2 famous ppl whom we call now "policemen". w.o fail they sure come. n 1 is quite handsome. saw him 2 str days in a row. whahaha tao yan! i've been lookin @ 2 many guys liao. hahaha.

as 4 him, he dun interest n excited me much. got call me a few tyms n i admit i do like him styl but it's fading. cus he doesn't wanna do much abt it. so i dun really care. n how many tyms he has been rejected if he styl wanna tickskin IGNTS.

well, wad else? erm... got tis new n idiotic person tt likes me. n i tot he din @ 1st but he makes it damn obvious tt he does like. gets v freaky! esp de last few days when i was on full shift, he has deliberately walked passed just 2 smile n stare @ me. n i just turn away. dun wanna knoe him. 2dae he so da dan go n talk 2 me but while he was walking lah. so rachel told narayan n ashok n those 2 monkeys plannin 2 tell him i like him 2! arugh, more hindance den help. vanan n jay says dun need 2 b worried, but i dun like him starin! yes i knoe his stupid eyes 4 himself 2 see, so wad can i say? pek chek leh!

fri nite clsin we were discussing sum stuff, esp abt toy boy, sugar daddies n domestic partners. rach n i agreed tt humayun's status is "in many r/s". so i told them i was lookin 4 a v old man, rich, abt 2 die, leaves all his money 2 me n doesnt take viagra. they said it was not possible. true lah. which girl wanna b wif a very old man? u tink something's gotta give ar? so den humayun mentioned which girl would wanna pull a guy in a wheelchair? wld u call tt love? so my reply...

"tt's volunteery work"

their reaction...

...

whahahaha... gd laugh can. they din tink i wld come up wif such a lame ans. but i'm lame lah... 2 bad! =P they asked me when m i gonna do it oso! hahaha... they all cheered me up 4rm my constant work lyfstyle, super rich! i'm aiming an nokia 7200 btw, n oso se t630. de black 1. so stylo. hopefully by end june. love handphones sia!

feeling super tired. n stress. wonderin wad can b done 4 lots of stuff. aftr work, jay n i went 4 drinks. aloe vera peach only. missed those days wif him. he's stress 2, but he chooses 2 settle his own situations.

tues morn i was drmin i got results n i passed every thing but failed 1! i tink it was either mca or sem proj. in my drm i remembered sayin i was gonna get kicked out. i woke up really tinking i failed mca! wha lan super worried sia. hopefully it's not true! oso saw disgustin eugene 2ce in suntec. he works ard there. yuck! he's ugly n not nice. y do i see de ugly 1s n not sivert? sivert v cute but 2 bad i wont have de chance 2 knoe him! haiz... if any 1 wanna knoe eugene, i'll try ways n means 2 talk 2 him 4 u. msg me k? ;) oso saw those are you game? ppl, jo n gareth.

better turn in liao. tired. wanna pamper myself wif slp. n b sad latoya's out! boo hoo!

results will b released on de 29th of may! better note tt on my calender...

feel like sum things nv mention... arugh... weird...

btw... i like tis girl... 4rm de O.C.... nv mentioned b4 hahaha... but yeah... cant see it tis thurs! damn... sad sia!

rachel bilson as summer roberts... O.C.

was talkin 2 sis... she said she saw van helsing 2dae oso! woo! we were discussing de picture... n den she realised tt de shows i watch... n i like de guys... always die! heng owen wilson dun die! hahaha... sum egs...

gregory smith as thomas martin... the patriot

max benitz as peter calamy... master & commander : the far side of the world (de left 1~)

will kemp as velkan ... van helsing

sis n i were talkin on de fone... she was saying tt hugh jackman studied in curtin... her uni... n they have tis big picture of him @ de uni ard de drama club... was rather shocked lah... he doesnt look like he studied there? hahaha... she even said hugh jackman proclaimed tt he goes back 2 curtin often... so i asked her 2 look out 4 me... whahaha... he's not say tt nice... tink orlanda bloom's better... sorrie 2 all his fans... hahaha... yes yes can insult my owen... nvm lah! whahaha...

kkz... later morning shift... nites~

wow... new blogger stuff...

looks damn weird... tis shows how long i havent been in my blog... basically i have a long wk ahead so i'm lazyin @ hm din go swimming... i tink abt de amt of stuff i can watch @ hm i'm happy! de man of de hse has installed sum more channels in2 de scv stuff... thank u 4 tt. but tt's all. so now i have my handsome guy channel... glad i din take nickelodian... or wadever... *rolls eyes*

so anyway i saw van helsing wif aloy... not mummy's type of show... she came wif us 2 cine... but she went lib while we saw it... so thrilling! n cool... nice effects... n de storyline is power! next on my list styl got troy... so anyway de movie is like LXG and underworld... if u guys like those shows... shld go see tis 1... it was quite funnie seeing van helsing as a catholic! sum more aloy was next 2 me n we kept laughin @ de funnie church stuff tt they did... nice wif a v v super sad ending... i dun wanna say wad... just watch!

aloy bought de vcd school of rock so got another movie 2 see! hahaha... plus he left peter pan @ our hse! isnt it good if u have a fwen who buys vcds? hahahaha...

so anyway... we had lunch outside den came hm lah... been hm since now n clearing up my bloggin stuff... really wont b ard de blog much... my tv v impt... hahahaha... n yups... tryin 2 improve on my cooking! joanna needs me 2 teach her cooking... so will b replying her msg later... most prob next wk... yups... quite excited... hehehe =)

yest was working... den i found out sum 1 has been backstabbing me... but i dun wish 2 spill it out... sum ppl will get their just deserts... i dun wish 2 comment... den i saw eye 4 a guy... gosh i feel damn sad 4 sivert! so sad man... aftr sivert was choosen, i tot he n rachel can have a happy ending... in de end mark must b extra! no offence 2 those who r taught under mark in np...

so ok... had coffee wif vanan yest... den met mummy @ parkway... we went 2 buy sum stuff... n came hm watch tv! wha lan... so angry wif tt... nvm...

tym 2 go watch tv... nth 2 blog... lost my inspiration i guess... nvm... @ least can save tym... hehehe... happy holidays every 1!

i wanna get tis off... i really do...

1ce n 4 all... i just wanna say all those unhappy stuff. unhappy things tt have been happening 2 me. but i duno who i can turn 2... so i tot i'll turn 2 my blog...

2 things... duno whether it is right 2 say it... but i'll say it anyway...

1stly... my mummy has lost her job... so now she's jobless... n i... being de gd daughter... has given her every single cent i've earned... n i tink i'll have 2 do tt until she gets a stable job... not tt i have 2... n i'm not complaining... just feel it's not fair... of cus she has de many relatives 2 support her... but how long can she go on like tt? now my money is not impt 2 me... but yeah... i hate de fact tt i have 2 b de 1 giving up all my hard earned money... i hate de fact tt 4 these 2 yrs i've been in poly... i have 2 study n work cus i din wanna make my mother work harder den she is... i just dun wan 2 see her suffer... tt's y i dun mind all those silly D grades tt i've been getting... i just dun wan 2 see her suffer more den she alr is suffering...

2 those who duno... well... yeah... i lost my dad b4 i turned 15... so 4 5 yrs, my mum has been supportin 3 children all by herself... do u tink it's easy? all de tym in sec sch i din do well, i screwed up my work... i felt damn bad abt it. i always wanna tell my mummy i'm so sorrie 4 all those things i said 2 hurt her... n make her feel worst den she is. last yr june, she owed money... den those ppl came n wanted 2 take our stuff away... including my beloved computer. my computer is given by my relatives who got a share when they sold de family hse... which has another long story... my dad has part of de share but it's wif my mother now... so yeah... they din take it away in de end... but i was so angry... i tot i was gonna lose sum thing tt was not paid by my mother. i just selfishly tot abt myself @ tt moment... now as i tink back, i feel like i've done my mother so much wrong... really wonder how can i make it up 2 her...

as so 2dae being mother's day... i cld not even do sum thing nice 4 her... i decided 2 cook 4 her... but she did de shopping... n cutting... i fried de stuff n steamed 2... but she did sum dishes all by herself... i felt really horrible n mean... n cant even do a simple stuff of making her happy... relaxed... all i did was just bring her worries... she even told me it's ok if i take supp paper... or rpt... just do well... n like so many things... i work so much... dun even take tym 2 go 4 church events which r impt... all i care abt is work work work... she hurts when i dun do wad she 1s... n i see her hurt i'm oso heart pain... esp when i dun go 2 church... 4rm young... i've always followed her... nv skipping n lookin 4ward 2 it... sum tyms loving it so much 2 de extend of goin every day... but now i just blew it... dun go... dun care... n my best fwen being a priest... how upset can my mummy b? all those sacrifices she made 4 me 4 20 yrs n yet i'm really being a bitch...

i just wanna say wad i wanna say... i knoe it's not right n i dun wan any sympathy... but it's so horrible... n worth crying... i just cant help but say it... my mummy's been so depressed but i have 2 work... cant even spend tym wif her... 4 those who dun work... u tink it's v easy 2 work n study? sorrie 4 sounding so blunt... but i dun wanna brk my mother's heart any more... i even accuse her of favourtism... which is so not her... i just feel so guilty...

2ndly... it's concerning my brother... i dun talk 2 him any more... n i dun care... i wanna write tis... even if he reads it... but i dun treat it like i have a brother any more... i dun like de way he has treated me when he is angry... n yes he has been gd... but i dun wanna b hurt any more... i just wanna continue lyf wif de way it is now... i'm happy suffering being away 4rm u... physcially u r my mother's son... so i dun deny tt... but dun go round telling every 1 i'm ur sis... cus in my heart u dun exsist... so wad ever we do... it's just separate... yes u can kill me now... i dun mind dying... just dun accuse mummy of being bad n all... cus she has done so much 4 u!!!

i wanted 2 write abt de day cus it was ok... but 2 much saddness. tis is my most heart felt n honest review abt anything... i'm sorrie if it hurts 2 any 1... but i just wanna say wad i really feel... i wld appreciate bad comments 2 b kept 2 oneself... cus tis is my blog... n i just wanna get it off... i dun wan any 1 saying they tink i sux or wad... cus tis is true... n just let me b myself now ok?

mummy... happy mother's day... sorrie tis is so plain... n revealing... i guess i'm de only 1 wif a sad story on mother's day...

havent gone 2 slp yet...

lucky sia! cus vanan just called... n gave me super lots of shifts next wk... cus sutha's injured! poor girl sia... she got injured while dancin! hahaha... really ironic cus thurs when we were goin off... she was like saying she dun mind me working more so tt she can have an off... now she has an off man! 1 whole wk!

so in future really have 2 b careful wif wad u say... we were talkin abt humayun 2ce n he appeared! whahaha... so scary hor? but he got long lyf... lolx... =) feeling really tired since i have been up since 5am! yes... dun call me crazy... i needed 2 pray!

my best fwen was sayin mornin mass... so we went brkfast aftr tt. he felt sorrie he din pray 4 me... like super worried whether i can do it. den he ate so much 4 brkfast. felt bad cus i any how order. n he's so fussy! tsk... he's lookin 4ward 2 dinner wif us... den oso we goin movie n LOTR... wow... so much things lined up...

so went 4 meeting aftr comin hm... really mugged like mad... cus i only studied 4 1 day... super big regret! de paper is easy, as i found out while studyin... de module is easy! but i pia my java 2 much... n 2 useless... feel so bad towards ah kwan now! arugh...

anyway 2 all those who wish me gd luck n asked me abt my ip... i'm fine! dun worry. u guys knoe who u r... joanne, vik, humayun... 1st tym i had so much concern n gd lucks. every 1 saw how stress i was during meeting. i cldnt even tink n concentrate on it. my mind only got < % response.write % >! whahaha...

den went 4 exam... i tot i cld avoid de person in sch styl had 2 see! lucky din come in2 contact... aftr all i knoe how 2 avoid. lucky de person goin attachment liao! yeah... dun need 2 see... dun need 2 tink...

so den aftr paper came hm... almost left my hp @ de exam hall! jia lat sia! lucky i din... not so goon do! hahahaha... den went 2 work early... so really like no tym 2 rest... n tml must styl go mass... early early... *yawns*... need 2 turn in sia!

updated all my stuff. only things need 2 add r sum foto links up. yuppies! complete my boring collection! hahahaha...

ok... now abt work. jay! yeah... had fun wif him... but under pressure 2 work now. arugh! work makin me so stress... but @ de same tym can see him... so shldnt b stress. but duno oso. which direction we wanna head... i cant make it out. but isnt it bettter? i m single loh... styl... if he decides on 1 decision... i might b wif him... duno... dun 1 oso lah... i wanna stay tis way i m... dun need 2 worry abt love... can care 4 my fwens...

sum funnie things happen. like narayan! he was damn pathetic... he had 2 wear de pink crew shirt! hahaha... n he looked so funnie... cus of de catering loh! hahahaha... n when he was making naan, i tot it was vik... lolx! so cannot differentiate loh! hahahaha...

n golam, he like 2 use 2 words... "toothpick" n "rolling pin"! lolx... he n i got priavte joke. hahaha. so fun my da da. lolx.

need 2 turn in. nth 2 blog liao. my unhappy stuff can wait. nites!

whahahaha... i'm currently tryin 2 blog... n oso change my song...

n talk 2 my lovely sis... i miss u girl! 2dae was a longgg day... cus i din go hm aftr sch. i wore my fav blouse! it's de oriental princess blouse sis bought 4rm australia... n she even have 1 4 herself... hehehe...

n george huff is out! kinda expected it wld b a girl idol... i'm rooting 4 fantasia n xue ren 1s latoya! so may de best woman win... now it's kinda predictable... but styl hard... aftr all... america votes not on singing loh... arugh! dun wanna say abt it! i guess i'm rather sad amy adams can b out cus she looked like jay leno's sis! bias!

arugh! ree got me thinkin so much... hard hard... things tt happened b4... i just poured out... makes me feel better... but like sum thing i regret... i regret many things tt has happened since de start of tis yr... nv tried 2 make things better... nv tried 2 understand... n say things i shldnt... i duno wad 2 say! mayb shld just shut up... really like black eyed peas said...

well... anyway... i'm condemmed... n it's only 1 more day... so i'm not worried... i have 2 learn 2 smile! recently vik found out my funnie secret cus i said it 2 him... now every 1 was discussing it... so embarassing! so i wont blog it... so anyway when vanan mentioned it... i was like... shit... die... vik got big mouth! but they told me sum nice sides 2 it... which i cant rem... all i knoe was they were making fun! alamak!

2dae aftr i left sch... i took bus 162... just 2 see de route... ended up @ hmv 4 a while... i saw de cd tt i 1! arugh... so nice... n oso i saw de stupid william hung cd... damn pathetic... sum ppl were playing it loudly n making fun... hahaha... can u believe he spoilt de song "i believe i can fly"? makes me feel de competition is more of popularity den singing loh... or else y jen hudson out? okok... just my opinion...

so den i stupidly took back 162 2 suntec... cus i din knoe de bus dun loop hahaha... den landed @ raffles there... de 1 fulleton... pai sey! n i walked back... 4rm there 2 suntec... quite shrt... so now thinner loh... aftr all i havent been eating well... so thin loh... n slping well... so thin lah! but nice walk... brought back many memories when i was workin aftr o's... n den met tim, sam, kavi, ballie n david... orh... 2dae's sam's bday! whahaha... i styl rem...

so anyway... heck care sam 4 a while... i have super nice memories of tt place... when we used 2 hang out aftr work... n sit n eat prata... n den we used 2 talk cock... sayin tim was a professional soccer player... hahaha... n all those silly fotos we took... which i styl have... n den when sam met rae... he was so crazy... over her... n den he kinda expected rae 2 b... eh nvm...

so yeah... those were de days... as i walked dwn memory lane... i saw lots of japanese oso... n oso walkin passed esplande reminded me of last sun... so nice... if i cld relive it... i wldnt... cus... i believe even if tt nite i din make up wif jay... we wld styl have had a happy fwenship... sutha believed in us... 10s sutha... =)

so yeah... back 2 2dae... i went dwn... kena suan... den the ppl there cheered me up... made me 4get all abt exams n tt i had 1... n den they were all laughin n joking like nobody's business... n vik suggested an outing... he was even funnier... cus rach said if we all go... who wld wrk? den he was like "we shall leave humayun... n kirit bi!" den he laughed so goon-do ish... hopefully ashok doesnt tell on us... cus he was kinda listening... but any way who cares?

so all in all it was a gd day. sutha made it possible. she's a bit upset if i ever come 2 a decision concerning my future... but it was grt hangin out wif her...

hehehe... off 2 study. i need 2 start now! lolx...

10s reena 4 ur listening ears. really appreciated it. a lot.